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how introverts can improve self-awareness
Brian Garland
October 19, 2023
Welcome to The Introverted Path!
It’s Thursday again! This week has flown by for me. I am traveling all week for work and then have a wedding out of town this weekend. It will be 3 cities in 5 days…I am already exhausted 🥱
I have been thinking recently about self-awareness and what that means. It’s a term people frequently use, but I feel like there are many different interpretations of what it means.
In general, introverts tend to be more self-aware. It is a critical skill to have in both social and work settings.
So with that said, this week’s topic is going to be all about self-awareness and how to improve it.
In today’s email:
What is self-awareness?
How to improve your self-awareness
Links to other content I enjoyed this week
Quick ask — after you read this newsletter, can you respond back with a “more please!” if you want to hear more about self-awareness next week? As I was writing I had a ton more I found interesting but didn’t want to make this too long. If people enjoy the topic, would love to write more, but if not will move onto something else.
Let’s dive in 🤙
What is self-awareness?
You know, I’m beginning to realize a theme as I write this newsletter.
And that theme is that I don’t always agree with the general Oxford definitions of words.
Here is what they defined self-awareness as below 👇️
"conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires"
Now I’ll give you one that is a bit longer but I feel does a better job giving the full picture:
"the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards. If you're highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you"
The first part of self-awareness is understanding your own character, motives, desires, and emotions.
That in itself is a huge feat.
It wasn’t until the last few years that I tried to do that with myself. I imagine most people coast through life without ever really thinking about what drives them and what their internal standards are.
And then from there, evaluating if the way they are currently acting does or does not align with those standards.
The part missing from the first Oxford dictionary definition is the ability to evaluate yourself.
To me, that is the most important part of being self-aware.
It is one thing to understand yourself, but another to objectively determine if the way you are acting is in line with that.
How to improve your self-awareness
If I made it seem like being self-aware was difficult….well, that’s because it is.
According to a study in Harvard Business Review, only 10-15% of the population fit into the criteria of being self-aware.
And that makes sense when you think about it — as humans we are emotional. It is extremely difficult for us to evaluate ourselves objectively.
While this is a hard skill to master, hopefully you now have a better idea of why it is important.
So what can we do to improve our self-awareness?
1. Ask people their perception of you
Starting off with a scary one here, but one of the best ways to improve self-awareness is to ask others close to you what their perception is of you.
Pick out a few different scenarios and write down how you see yourself in those scenarios.
Then, ask others how they perceive you in those scenarios, and you can get an idea of what the gaps may be.
2. Practice mindfulness
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about mindfulness, which is being fully present with whatever you are doing in that moment.
Practicing mindfulness allows you to better understand your current state; emotions, desires, and motivators.
This allows you to better evaluate whether your current state is in line with your internal standards, or whether you need to make changes.
Some mindfulness techniques I highlighted a couple weeks ago included deep breathing, mindful moving, and meditation.
3. Yoga 🧘♂️
Those who have been reading from the beginning know how much I love doing yoga.
On the mental side - yoga requires discipline to push through difficult postures. It also separates you from your normal routine and forces you to focus on the exercises at hand
On the physical side - yoga allows you to become more aware of your physical body and how it reacts to certain things.
My thoughts 💭
As introverts, we are naturally more introspective. This can lead to us having a better understanding of our internal standards.
The final line in the second definition for self-awareness mentions ‘correctly understanding how others perceive you’.
This is extremely important in relationships and work settings.
I’m sure we all can think of situations when someone you know showed a lack of self-awareness.
Before researching and writing this newsletter, that is how I thought about self-awareness. Much more focus on understanding how others perceive us.
But I think the part about understanding yourself and evaluating whether you are within your own standards is really powerful.
Which makes me think of a quote from one of my favorite TV shows and characters of all time — Omar Little from The Wire.
Links that I enjoyed this week 💥
That’s it for today - hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter
And remember, if you want more content about self-awareness, reply and let me know!
BG